


A Day in the Life of Kanan Jarrus

by TheNightFury



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, May the Fourth Gift Exchange gift, Space Family Feels, Space family, Takes place shortly after Holocrons of Fate in season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14532729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightFury/pseuds/TheNightFury
Summary: So much changed for Kanan after he lost his sight, but there were some things that would never change.





	A Day in the Life of Kanan Jarrus

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!! This fic is for the lovely KianRaiDelcam on Tumblr for the Rebels May the Fourth Gift exchange!! I know technically it is a tad early but for most of the world it's the fourth and I work like all freaking day tomorrow so I figured I'd post it tonight! Anyways I hope you love it!!!

So much for Kanan would never be the same since he was blinded by Maul. Every day Kanan discovered more ways things had permanently changed for him. He couldn’t cut his hair or shave properly because he couldn’t see. He couldn’t check the time without asking someone. He couldn’t see Sabine’s art, or watch Ezra grow up and see how he’s changed, couldn’t look into Hera’s warm encouraging eyes-

Focus, he needed to clear his mind and focus. The flood gates had been opened however, sweeping him in a flood of emotions that threatened to drown him. Was he forgetting what Hera looked like? Where her eyes green like her skin? Was he remembering the markings on her lekku? Or the exact shade of green her skin was? Where Ezra’s eyes as blue as he was remembering? Was he remembering the right shade of blue? Had Sabine changed her armor again? Did he really remember right what her previous armor designs looked like? Did he not remember right just how tall Zeb really was? Or was he imagining him far taller?

How much had changed around the Ghost? Did Hera finally give Chopper a new coat of paint? Had Sabine added any more paintings? Had-

“Kanan? Are you alright?” Ezra tentatively asked, sounding almost afraid to come in.

“I’m fine,” Kanan assured. Despite them finally talking in the caves beneath Atollon, his and Ezra’s relationship was forever changed by Maul blinding him. Kanan isolating himself from Ezra had caused him to come dangerously close to the dark side, and he would never forgive himself for putting Ezra through that pain. A part of him feared Ezra wouldn’t either, despite his assurances.

“Please don’t shut me out again,” Ezra begged, stepping inside the room. “I want to help.”

“You can’t help with this,” Kanan gently assured.

“You don’t know that,” Ezra argued.

Kanan sighed before reluctantly explaining, “Things…changed for me after I was blinded. I don’t blame you for it and I don’t want you to feel guilty for it or anything that comes as a result of it.”

“What do you mean?” Ezra asked, kneeling down on the ground beside Kanan. 

“I don’t know what you look like now…Hera says you’ve grown so much…I can’t see any of the new art Sabine creates or watch any of you grow. And despite the force, there’s still so much I can’t really do by myself anymore….I’m sorry I shouldn’t be dumping this on you…”

“No, I’m glad!” Ezra cried. “I-I want to help! Family helps each other…right?”

“Yes, they do,” Kanan agreed with a small smile.

“So….don’t feel bad for needing to talk to somebody….it doesn’t have to be me I mean I love it when you do but, I-I bet Hera would love it if you talked to her…”

“Thank you Ezra,” Kanan gently said, placing a hand on Ezra’s shoulder and squeezing it. 

“Of course,” Ezra said, grinning at Kanan as Sabine ran in gasping, 

“Kanan!” 

“Is something wrong Sabine?” Kanan immediately asked. 

“No, no nothing’s wrong!” Sabine exclaimed. “I just couldn’t wait to show you!”

“Show me what?” Kanan curiously asked. 

“My room,” Sabine said, grabbing Kanan’s hand and eagerly tugging his to his feet. “Come on! You’ll love it I promise!” 

“Well if you promise,” Kanan teasingly said as he got to his feet, Ezra eagerly following behind them.

“I’ve been working on this for a long time but it’s finally finished,” Sabine explained as she led him into her room and to one of the walls. 

“I’m sure it’s amazing Sabine,” Kanan said, trying to sound optimistic despite knowing he would never see her art again. Never get to see her continue to improve and grow as an astist-

“Hold on,” Sabine said, taking his hand and placing it on the wall. “I too so long because I was trying to find ways for you to also be able to enjoy my art.”

“How?” Kanan softly asked. Trying not to get his hopes up and failing. 

“I used different textures for each color I used so you could feel the changes of color and feel the shape of the image,” Sabine explained as she started to gently move Kanan’s hand across the wall, going into great detail about the piece, the colors for each texture, each curve and twist in the piece so vividly Kanan could see it in his mind’s eye. 

“Sabine this is….I don’t know what to say,” Kanan admitted. 

“…do you like it?” She hopefully asked. 

“Like it? No, I love it!” Kanan said. “This is- thank you Sabine.” It was apparently the right thing to say. Without warning Sabine charged at Kanan, tightly hugging him, burying her face in his chest, Kanan wrapping his arms around her almost instinctively, hugging her close as she silently cried in his chest. 

“Is everything okay?” Hera asked from the doorway. 

“Yea, Sabine was just showing me her newest piece,” Kanan said. 

“Oh Sabine it’s gorgeous!” Hera exclaimed. 

“Your art never ceases to amaze me Sabine,” Kanan added, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. 

“I’m glad I found a way for you to still enjoy it,” Sabine admitted. “Sorry it took so long….”

“Don’t be sorry,” Kanan assured. “I never expected you to do this-“

“We want to help you Kanan!” Sabine cried. “All of us.”

“Maybe not Zeb,” Ezra teasingly said. 

“Hey! I heard that!” Zeb cried, poking his head into the room. “And I do want to help!”

“Well you’re the last one to join us!” Ezra fired back. 

“It’s not my fault you guys decided to have a party without me!” Zeb said. 

“It’s not a party I was showing everyone my new piece!” Sabine corrected.

“See, not my fault no one told me!” Zeb said. 

“Come on love,” Hera whispered, taking Kanan’s hand and leading him out of Sabine’s room as the kids continued to bicker. “Let’s clean up that beard.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Kanan asked, unconsciously rubbing his beard with his hand. 

“Love I know you won’t shave it, but it desperately needs a trimming at least,” Hera sternly said. “And since I don’t trust you to do it, I will.”

“What, don’t you trust me with a sharp knife near my face?” Kanan innocently asked. 

“I-I’m sorry-“

“Don’t be,” Kanan said, “It’s okay….I want you guys to be able to laugh at silly things like that.”

“It feels wrong to,” Hera admitted, guiding Kanan into the fresher. “It feels like we’re laughing at you and not with you…”

“I know none of you would do that, especially you,” Kanan gently assured, taking Hera’s hand. 

“I love you,” Hera breathed, cupping Kanan’s cheek with her hand.

“And I love you,” Kanan whispered, leaning in to close the distance between them. But, before their lips could touch the door opened and the pair broke apart, Chopper angrily beeping at them about a message from Sato before rolling out. 

“It’s as if they know,” Hera grumbled.

“I’m pretty sure Chopper does it on purpose,” Kanan said. 

“Normally I’d argue but today….” Hera sighed. “We should see what Commander Sato wants.”

“I’ll round up the others,” Kanan said.

“Thanks love,” Hera said, quickly pecking his cheek before following Chopper. There was so much that had changed for Kanan, but some things would never change.


End file.
